Thursday, April 30, 2009

thursday apr 30

today was a stressful day but non eventful nothing changed really . all we did is wait and pray wait and pray . i think waiting is the most stressful part. today logan and jordan came and saw the life therapist then we took them into see devyn they were so sad .its such a hard thing to deal with watching your children emotionally and physiclly hurt and know there is nothng you can do to fix it i feel like im watching my family crumble and theres nothing i can do ...usually im the mrs fix it or the strong one and i just dont have any left i just cant fix this .its so hard ...every thought or question in my head starts or ends with why. why why why .....

i went home tonight because i felt that jordan and logan needed me . i was in the kicthen cleaning up and the phone rang it was a faimly friend so we started to talk i was updating her on devyn . i happen to look up and noticed my back door that leads to the pool was opened i paniced i droped the phone and started crying i paniced i ran out side and when i got to the back porch they were peacefully playing ... i then relized that i have a 5 ft safety fence around my whole pool . how did something like this happen to someone who took all the safety procedures how did this happen

i had to sit and take a min to myself to calm down i started reading some of the comments people have left me and i came across this saying that someone wrote and i couldnt help but smile ...so i wanted to share it

life is to short to wake up with regrets
so love the people who treat you right
forget about the ones who dont
believe everything happens for a reason
and if you get a second chance grab it with both hands
if it changes you life let it
nobody said life would be easy
they just promised it would all be worth it


i thank you for writing that it refilled some of my hope meter...lol...it was a little low

thank you all for your support i might write a little later but i might go to sleep not really sure
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4 comments:

  1. Dar's CommentsApril 30, 2009 at 4:49 PM

    Hi Nikki
    I was the one who wrote those words. I knew in my heart they were words that would help you at such a tragic time in your life.
    I haven't met you yet but your Grandma Mercie has told me many wonderful things about you. I am Grandpa Ron's step-sister from Windsor, Ontario Canada. Please know that myself and all of my family and friends are praying for Devyn that he get well and for you and your husband and sons. There are going to be many days that put your relationship to the test and when that happens just stop what you're doing, take a deep breath and hug each other like there's no tomorrow.
    Get some sleep Sweetie. You need to keep your energy up.
    Love
    Darlene

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  2. Dar's CommentsApril 30, 2009 at 4:56 PM

    Hi Nikki
    Just wanted to clarify that when I said I wrote those words that inspired you, I was quoting an unknown author. I did not actually come up with them myself.
    Darlene

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  3. MommyComptonMay 1, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    Nikki, You are so strong. Stay in that healing place. Stay focused on the healing process. Devyn will heal, one way or another. We are all praying for him, as well as for your other children to get through this. In gods arms, all things are possible. You can do it. I love you.

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  4. JBerryMay 1, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    Hi, I am one of Denise's coworkers. I am constantly thinking about and praying for baby Devyn as well as your whole family. As cliche as this sounds, everything happens for a reason, and no one is given something they cannot handle. I wish I had answers to all of your "why" questions, but like everyone else I do not compare to The Lord, He is the one who has all the answers that we may never know. We just have to take that leap of faith and trust Him.
    As I am writing you this, Magda is sitting over my shoulder wishing she understood how to make a blog herself. She is not very good with technology, so I just wanted to pass her love and prayers on to you. She is also constantly praying hoping for the best.
    I as well believe in miracles; nothing is impossible.
    Jessie Berry

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