busy weekend

well we actually really had a good weekend . Friday joey came home we missed him so much the boys did to they ran up to him and followed him around all night...it was cute and good to have all the boys home we haven't laughed like that in awhile. it felt good. Saturday i went to my best friend Cheryls baby shower. that was really hard but i know that i needed to be there . i had a good time just a little emotional i guess...i am so happy for her but at the same time watching her baby come into the world just as mine left is hard i only cried 4 times and she only saw me once ...lol....so i think i did pretty well. saturday night all of us went to my grandmothers and had dinner . it was nice the boys had fun and so did me and joe it was nice to get out of the house. sunday we went to church and then to my dads for dinner and that was nice as well ...i got into a conversation with my grandmother and i told her that i felt him with me (she knew what i meant) it was great to know i wasnt crazy and i believe it brought us closer together. she made me feel like it was okay to beleive devyn is still with me ...i felt at ease i guess joe was there too he said he hears his voice sometimes ...i wish i could ...he had never told me that so i was a little suprised..sometimes at night i sit there looking at my bedroom door and just stair waiting for him to sneak in and crawl into bed like he used to .... i just cant help it . i miss him so much those baby blues and that grin but most of all i miss his smell i know thats weird but i do when he was in the hospital he didnt smell the same as when he was home so thats the first thing that was taken from me .... i love him so much ... well here i go with the tears so im gonna try to lay down ...if i cant sleep ill write more

thanks for praying for our family